When I arrived at her coke-littered hovel I found Lohan smeared in goats blood dancing naked to the best of Barry Manilow. The 20-year-old Devil worshipper only agreed to the interview on condition that I strip down to my bare arse and let her straddle my whip stick whilst she drizzled black candle wax onto my steely, brown nipples. Link
See also: Lindsay Lohan Accused Of Stealing Clothes Again
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